Dear August, Following my recent plea for extra hours in the day, extra days in the week or even an additional month in the summer, I am thrilled that you have decided to offer us an extra weekend! This month we have 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays! It’s not quite an extra month, but it’s a big step in the right direction.
Dear Slugs and Snails, I thought I had got you under control by growing things in my garden that you don’t like, but it seems I was wrong. Now that you have enjoyed/destroyed a few of my plants, please would you move on somewhere else.
Dear Great British Bake Off, I am really looking forward to you starting again next week.
Dear paperback books, Stop it! Stop looking so darned enticing. Your appealing ways mean that saying no, and refusing to buy you, or turning down to the offer from a friend to have a book they are finished with is impossible, so the pile waiting to be read has just increased again.
Dear Memory, Please will you start working properly. I know there were several other things I wanted to say, but I can’t remember them!