Dear rain soaked people of Britain, I would like to apologise for the heavy rain we had at the beginning of the week. I had put some new plants in the garden at the weekend and hoped that a little rain would help to establish them. I hadn’t expected quite so much of it! Sorry.
Dear phone user on the train, If you weren’t quite so annoying it might have been amusing. Ten minutes out of Euston and you were still nattering on and on and on and on, without pause for breath. Then we came to a tunnel. Hello? Hello? Hello? Contact was lost and not re-established. I imagine the person on the other end of the call used the break to escape and rest their poor ears!
Dear Garden Centre, I think I will be coming to visit you again this weekend – the few plants I bought last weekend look very lonely and aren’t filling the spaces as fully as I had thought they would have done.
Dear schoolboy cyclist, You looked a bit precarious on your bike, with your mobile phone in one hand and a cigarette in the other. That was seemed tricky enough, but you were texting! I really don’t know how you managed to stay on your bike.
Dear fox, What were you looking for in my garden the other day? Could it have been the McDonald’s McChicken Sandwich box that I had found earlier?