I used to be indecisive…

…but now I'm not so sure

Friday letters – the last day of September edition


Dear new Bank of England five pound note,  I am beginning to think that you are a myth.  Since you were introduced into circulation on the 13th of September I have been given several £5 notes in change in shops but never the new one.  There are excited social media suggestions as to what we could do with our first new fiver (send it to charity is the most common one it seems), there have been news reports about them, I have heard people discuss them or exclaim in excitement about receiving one, but I have not seen one myself.  Have any of my British readers actually seen one?  Are they like the Loch Ness Monster – something that is said to exist but no one has ever seen?

Dear supermarket check out girl,  I was not impressed with you and your glum expression.  You spoke five words to me during my entire interaction with you, and one of those words was only because I said hello to you and you grudgingly returned the greeting.  The other four words were ‘Nectar card?’ (so you can guess which shop I was in!) and the total of my bill.  No pleases, no thank yous. You did not look at me during the entire process, or make me feel that your shop was one that I would consider going back to.  I think some customer service training is what you need.

Dear Waterstones,  How wonderful to have you back in town!  You’ve only been open a week and I’ve already been in three times.  When your original shop closed a few years ago we were bereft.  How could it be that we had been denied a ‘proper’ bookshop?    Picking up books in the supermarket, or WH Smiths, just wasn’t the same, but now we have a nice new (if a bit smaller version of the original one) bookshop where I can browse to my heart’s content.  Happy days. 

Dear little standby/on lights, I’m not quite sure what the collective term for you is, but I mean the little lights on the TV recording box, telephone answering machine, heating thermostat, WiFi router etc – the little lights that shine like the brightest beacons in the dark.  Why do you have to be quite so bright?  I don’t think there is such a thing as total darkness in our house at night because there is always something shining, or blinking, and illuminating the place.  I can see that you are useful and can tell us that the item is on, and working, but your luminosity could be turned down several notches and we could still see you quite clearly.  In a world that is trying to get us to think about reducing energy consumption you are not really doing your bit, are you?

Dear friends, I enjoyed our day together yesterday – chatting, eating lemon drizzle cake, seeing the sights and dining in a beautiful old pub.

Dear savage chickens,  You are still making me laugh.


I hope you have a good Friday, whatever your plans are.


33 thoughts on “Friday letters – the last day of September edition

  1. No, I haven’t seen one either! And I have had a load of fivers this last month. As for bookshops, I want to live in Alnwick where they have the Barter Book store, an old railway station converted into a second-hand bookshop. We spent a couple of damp hours in there and I could have come away with a fistful of books hadn’t common sense prevailed. I cannot resist a bookshop of any kind. I have to turn off my computers at the socket so no light escapes even from the battery illumination! Drives me bonkers! As does the recharging toothbrush.

    • Barter Book store sounds fabulous! I would find it very hard to come away with nothing, so I applaud your restraint! Oh yes – the recharging toothbrush! I forgot about that. Mr Decisive has one of them and when he is charging it it illuminates the entire upstairs of the house with it’s flashing blue light! 😦

  2. I’m so with you on those little bright lights. 😬 Mm mm…….lemon drizzle cake sounds like just what I need for breakfast. 😃 Happy weekend.

  3. We just got band new five dollar notes here in Australia but like you I’ve not seen hide nor hair of one so far. I’ve seen pictures and while I applaud the idea of having a visual aid on the note for vision impaired people I find it rather ugly. I don’t like the colour and the picture of the Queen is not very flattering.

  4. Elaine! The sausage chic comic still has. E laughing – but fun post all around and omg about the stand. By lights – brought back memories of my son using tape on someone’s cabinet once – to hide their huge blue glow from a very small DVr unit – the trouble he had covering it so he could sleep on their couch !
    You are right- why so bright people ????

  5. Elaine… I HAVE SEEN A NEW FIVE POUND NOTE! Ahem. A bit over-excited there. Sorry. There – that’s more than five words already! Yes, a work colleague had one and let me hold it even! They are a little smaller and feel a little different, but only a tad. I still want one of my own, though. And talking of my own, I love ‘my own’ Waterstones… I can spend hours in there, but I always feel as though I’ve out-stayed my welcome. Those standby lights should be grouped as an ‘annoyance’ or a ‘wakement’ or an ‘intrusion’ – what do you think? The shop girl might have been having a bad day – or she may just have a horrid personality – leave her to it… and, those Savage Chickens are always good for a giggle!

    Sorry. I think I’m making up for all of the comments I’ve missed here – it seems like a while!

    Hope you have a good weekend!

    • So – the £5 note really does exist then! You are the first person I know who has seen one in real life – I feel that mus bestow some kind of specialness upon you. 🙂
      Our new Waterstones is a lot smaller than our old one, and has a starker feel to it for some reason (modern and fresh I think is how they are explaining it) but it is still full of books and other random things so it is WONDERFUL! Apparently seating is arriving this weekend so that we will be encouraged to sit around for even longer. Just needs a coffee shop in it now!

  6. Yes, I got a new fiver in my change the other day in York!! It was so pretty and fresh and the man who gave it to me went to great pains to make sure I knew I could put it through the washing machine and it would remain intact. I wanted to keep it but I owed Melissa some money and I had to give it to her. I would like to think she will cherish it as much as I would have, but I expect by now it is no longer in her possession!

    We enjoyed the day very much too, especially the lemon drizzle cake! Thank you. We are now home again, where it is much cooler than it should be at this time of year. We’re hoping it warms up soon.

  7. Your check-out girl entry made me chuckle. Can you believe that I went to a new eye doctor this week and after having my glasses measured by one person and my paperwork seen to by another person and then my eyes examined by another person I found myself back out in the waiting area ready to check out. The girl at the desk asked me what the doctor said about something and I said, “I’m not even sure I saw the doctor. The person who did my eye exam never introduced herself, never confirmed who I was, and only spoke to me during the exam when asking what I could/could not see.” Customer service needed here too!

  8. I’m a massive Savage Chickens fan – got quite a few stuck into my notebooks.

    Supermarket girl – miserable job; miserable life. It tends to spill over.

    Fiver – I’ve seen one! The Hub brought one home, handed it to me, and I crumpled it like I’ve seen done on the news. He was outraged! Wanted to put it away for posterity. Oops! 😉

    • Sometimes I find it hard to choose which Savage Chicken to use because there are so many hilarious/appropriate ones. The problem with the supermarket girl is, I think, that she is young and probably feels she is entitled to a better job than working on the check out. There are many members of staff in that shop (where I go regularly) who are pleasant and cheerful, but they tend to be a bit older and probably appreciate the value of pleasant dealings at the check out.
      Another person who has seen a new fiver! They are obviously much more common than I thought! Oh dear – poor hub.

  9. That’s standard customer service in Germany.

    Standby lights really are bright, aren’t they? Luckily we don’t have any in the bedroom.

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