Dear cinema goers, Do some of you not eat for the whole day before going in to see a show? Are you so ravenous that you have to eat so much? On a recent trip I was surrounded by the noises of people eating popcorn from enormous tubs which are full to the brim, sweets and nachos and drinking fizzy drinks with lots of ice in the cup. Even the high volume of the soundtrack didn’t mask the noises produced by the rustling of the packaging, the rummaging in the packet/tub, the crunching of the sweets and popcorn, the ice cubes hitting each other and the slurping of drinks through a straw (and in one particular case the insistence of one small child in getting every last molecule of liquid out of his cup through the straw). I know it’s nice to have a treat when you go to the cinema (ice cream for me please) but do you need to have quite so much of it, and consume it quite so noisily?
Dear cinema treat manufacturers, I have written to you before, but it’s time for another letter. Why is it not possible to make quieter packaging for your products? It would reduce my stress quite considerably, and I know I am not alone in this.
Dear TV chat shows, Why, when guests are welcomed into the studio, do they all kiss the host and each other? They have just been sitting together, moments before, in the green room. I would rather be entertained by the anecdotes of the guests than watch them waste time with all the kissing. When there are lots of guests on the sofa it can take quite a while!
Dear spare buttons on shirts, I have noticed a worrying trend over the last year or so. The fabric on the shirt has developed small holes just where you are. In all the years of doing laundry, with spare buttons attached to the label which is sewn into the side seam near the waist of the shirt, it is only recently that this problem has happened. What is different? Is it to do with the action of the washing machine, or is it happening when the shirt is ironed? I have not changed how I do either of these things and now I am finding small holes in shirts even when they are quite new. I’d be grateful if you could let me know what is causing this problem.
Dear sports commentators, Sometimes we just want to watch the match, and appreciate the skill of the players. We do not need your constant talking and chatting with each other. Sometimes it is ok for there to be silence.
Dear readers, I will try and finish with a less grumpy letter.
Dear birds, It’s good to see you enjoying the bird bath.
Have a good Friday.