I used to be indecisive…

…but now I'm not so sure


2 Comments

Friday letters – the latest edition

Dear ‘Don’t Drink and Drive’ motorway signs, On my many drives up to and back from Scotland I have often seen this instruction displayed on the electronic boards above the motorway, along with helpful advice about wearing seatbelts and checking tyre pressures.  I am not sure whether you mean I should not be drinking from a water bottle/coffee cup etc while I am behind the wheel and moving along, or whether you mean that I should not have an alcoholic drink before driving.  Perhaps you could be clearer – maybe an illustration of some kind would help me.

Dear traffic cones,  It was nice to see relatively few of you on my most recent long journey.  Of course I suppose that means that poor motorists in other parts of the country must be suffering.

Dear laundry,  I’ve done enough – please stop breeding in the wash basket.  

Dear brain,  Please will you switch off at night – well, maybe not from the essential tasks like breathing and so on, but the whirling confusion of all the things you find to think about when I really should be sleeping.

Dear jet trails in the sky,  I’m sure I read somewhere that you are classed as clouds, which surprised me.  You were looking good the other day when I went for a late afternoon walk in the park.

 

Have a good Friday everyone.

 

 

 

Advertisements


15 Comments

Friday letters – the autumn leaves edition

Dear November, Hello – you seem to have come round rather quickly and have brought with you the chilly misty mornings.  It’s time to look out my gloves and warmer coat.

Dear technology,  Why do you always decide to do prolonged updates when I am in a hurry and want to shut you down?

Dear self,  Despite your experiences last week, why did you find yourself in the supermarket again on a Thursday?  Luckily is wasn’t too bad as the children are back at school again.

Dear party people,  Did you really think it was a good idea to set off fireworks after midnight earlier this week?  I feel that anything after 10pm is too late, but after midnight is just ridiculous.

Dear squirrels,  You must be very tired with all that frenzied rushing around and scrabbling in the ground looking for buried ‘treasure’.  I heard recently that you don’t actually remember where you have previously buried things, but just randomly dig in the hope of finding something that someone has buried there.  Here I was thinking how clever you were.

Dear leaves in the garden,  It is a mystery that we have piles of leaves in the garden from trees that aren’t anywhere near us.

Have a good Friday everyone.

 

 

 


17 Comments

Friday letters – the slightly exasperated edition

Dear self,  Why on earth did you think it was a good idea to go to the supermarket on a Thursday during half term?  Not only were the usual ‘old people’ out doing their traditional Thursday shopping, but so were lots of mums and children.  My shopping took twice as long as normal as I negotiated the groups of people, laden trollies and children running amok.  Take note for the next time the school children are on holiday.

Dear people who cancel appointments at the last minute,  You are quite annoying.

Dear California,  I am missing your blue skies and sunshine.  Since I got home we have had some dull, dreich weather, although today is bright and sunny, so perhaps I shouldn’t be complaining too much.

Dear British Airways,  You did slightly better on the return flight from California.  The food was better and the cabin staff in my section were delightful and very accommodating.  I don’t think I mentioned the cabin staff in my last letter to you, but on the outward flight they were lacking a bit of enthusiasm I have to say.

Dear Great British Bake Off,  I can’t believe we only have one more week to go!  What gentle soothing programme am I going to watch now?

Dear autumn, You are well and truly on your way I see.

That’s it for the letters this week – have a good Friday everyone.


14 Comments

Friday letters – the sun, sea and sand edition

Dear Californian blue skies and sunshine, You are a very welcome sight and I am enjoying basking in your warmth for a week or two.  There’s nothing much nicer than walking along a beach with the sun shining, the water sparkling and the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore.

Dear fingers,  What is wrong with you today – you don’t seem to be able to type two words in a row without getting the letters in the wrong order, or missing some out completely.

Dear finger nails,  Just when I was congratulating myself on you being back to your usual strength, one broke, which is very annoying.

Dear hummingirds,  I wonder why you are called hummingbirds, when actually you make more of an electronic buzzing sound?  Perhaps buzzingbird doesn’t sound quite so good.

Dear self,  Why on earth did you forget to bring a camera on this trip?  Luckily a mobile phone takes quite decent photos these days, but I am really missing the zoom function of a camera.

Dear readers,  I hope you have a good Friday.

 


18 Comments

Friday letters – the unicorn edition

Dear time,  I think I might have mentioned this before, but where do you go?  One minute I seem to have plenty of you and then the next moment there’s very little left.  It’s a puzzle.

Dear oldest agapanthus plant,  What a fabulous year you have had this year, and I’m very sorry that I didn’t take a picture of you.  Having had a bad year least year with only a few flowers, and a previous best performance of about 30 flowers, this year you produced 59.  You were wonderful.  Your newer, younger, floral compatriots would do well to take a leaf out of your book and up their production – each of them only managed about 5 blooms I think.

Dear conkers,  My experiment last autumn of putting a few of you on the window sill in the porch seems to have added weight to the suggestion that you keep spiders away.  In the last year I have not seen a single spider there.  Recently I read in the newspaper that you contain some kind of oil, the scent of which spiders dislike, which maybe explains why you manage to keep them away.  I think I’ll be putting you in a few other places in the house now.

Dear British Airways,  I’m sorry to say that your in flight meals are possibly the worst I have ever tasted.

Dear unicorns,  I feel very sorry for you these days.  I’m not sure when you became associated with rainbow manes, rainbow tails and rainbow horns instead of white?  You also seem to have been turned into some kind of cute cartoon creature instead of the magnificent silvery white beast representing Scotland in the Royal Arms of the United Kingdom.  If I were you, I’d be creating a bit of a fuss.


19 Comments

Friday letters – the mid September edition

Dear garden birds,   Another letter to you – that’s three quite recently.  I just want to say that it’s nice to hear you singing again – it’s been very quiet of late.  Apart from one little blue tit on the peanut feeder, I haven’t seen you, but hearing you is a step in the right direction.

Dear magpies,  Please can you sort out your differences more quietly, or at least lower your voices?  You make quite a racket.

Dear Japanese anemones,  I think I say this every year, but you are such lovely flowers and bloom for so long.  As other plants are beginning to fade at this time of year you are still going strong.

Dear foxes, I haven’t seen you for ages, but I know you are around judging by the rubbish that was strewn around in our garden this morning.

Dear Alexander McCall Smith,  I was so happy yesterday to discover that you have brought out two new Scotland Street books.  I knew one was published recently, but I had completely missed the previous one.  I have them downloaded onto my Kindle already – I can’t wait.

Dear self,  Well done for completing your latest crochet project.  It’s been a long process, but the final result looks good.

Have a good Friday everyone.


9 Comments

Friday letters – the next edition

Dear garden birds,  After expressing concern last week at your absence, I was pleased to see one or two of you out and about.  I’m really sorry that I disturbed a small group of you when I went out into the garden yesterday.  I didn’t see you again for the rest of the day, so I hope I didn’t frighten you off.

Dear parking wardens,  I hope you are pleased with the spoils of your patrols of parked cars now that the parking controls are back in place again.  The restriction time had barely started when I spotted one of you rubbing your hands with glee as you plastered yet another ticket onto a windscreen.  If you work on commission, then you must have done very well in the past few days.

Dear neighbour, Thank you for cutting back the tree in your back garden – our house is suddenly a lot brighter inside.

Dear solar panels on the sloping roofs of building,  Why do you have to be so ugly? Would it not be possible to make you so that you blend in a bit more? I know that the idea behind solar panels is very sound, but you really do stand out rather a lot, and not in a good way.  You are covering the whole side of the roof of a new building which has been erected in a local park and you really are a blot on the landscape.  Several houses in my neighbourhood also have them and they really do spoil the view.

Dear car driver who was behind me as I drove away from the petrol station,  Thank you for drawing my attention to the fact that I had forgotten to replace the fuel filler cap.

Dear Great British Bake Off,   I, like many other fans of the show, was very sorry when you announced your move from BBC to Channel 4 with a change in three out of your four presenters.  I was nearly going to vote with my eyes and not watch.  However, I would like to say that, having decided to watch the first episode just to see how awful you were,  I am enjoying it almost as much as before and I am really glad that I didn’t abandon you.

I hope everyone has a good Friday.